Microsoft Word is smarter than you

When I first used Windows-based word processors in Secondary School (Ah, Lotus AmiPro, how I miss you), I quickly formed a love-hate relationship with its Spell and Grammar checker: I loved the former, and hated the latter. The psychological pathology was all there--Spell Check fixed my horrible spelling and thereby preserved my dignity, while Grammar Check appeared to be so completely off its rocker that I could laugh, NTU Engineering graduate-like, that computers were completely stupid without intervention from its superior human users. (Deep Blue hadn't stirred my metaphysical insecurities yet at the time. And I hadn't started working life as a journalist.)

Years of using Word processors and copy-writing later, I think some repentance is in order. Actually, the average Singaporean is better off trusting the green wiggly line of Microsoft Word than their own English skills. The cold fact is, written English in Singapore plain sucks.

The horrors of bad English I have encounted plenty, but my uncaffeinated mind allows me to recall one for now. Take, for example, the difference between that and which. If you typed the sentence, "The word processor which is used most often is WordPerfect," in Microsoft Word, the program would have asked you to change it to "processor, which" or "processor that" The issue seems horribly trivial at first, since most people (here) would pass over it without blinking. It is, after all, a silly piece of pedantry that says there must be a comma before "which", but there's no need for one before "that".

So let's consider the difference between

The rules of English grammar, which are impractical, should be ignored.

and

The rules of English grammar that are impractical should be ignored.

(Source)

Anyway, this blog will be some sort of my personal crusade against bad English. Though I honestly think it's not possible to run myself out of a job doing this. Heh.

Urgh.

Yes I did remember to do a spellcheck on this post.